Within the American culture, there is a strong belief that that romantic relationships complete us. Fairy Tales as well as popular songs tell us that the sun will shine brighter when we find our mate,
all of our problems will dissolve into thin air, and we will live happily ever
after. This is what I refer to as the "Disney" version of love. It is
akin to our adolescent dream of a relationship that will complete us and provide a life time of euphoria which we feel at the sign of first or early love.
Earlier this week I met with a woman who was having a lot of difficulty in her relationship. After 20 years of marriage, her husband had just moved out. She had originally asked him to move out not because she wanted to separate but because she just couldn't live with the unresolved issues that had plagued their marriage for years.
Like many couples, she and her husband were at a loss when dealing with conflict. She would get angry about something he was or wasn't doing, feeling that if he really 'loved' her he would know what she needed.